Back from surgery
bit out of it

megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(via jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess)

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

angelsofthelord:

mishawinsexster:

this is my favorite face dean winchester has ever made

what makes it even better is the fact that he made this face because he just killed a little naked fairy with nipples in a microwave

if you don’t watch supernatural that entire thing is a reason you should start

(via amytampond)

fuoco-go:

gendertier:

gendertier:

gendertier:

i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE

WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? 

????????

okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg

Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse.

Your adventure is beginning, my friend.

(Source: genderti, via yearning-to-fly)

Surgery at 12:45. Gotta be in at 11:15. Leaving at 10:30. Freaking out.
I’m not allowed to eat or drink anything, either. Grrrrr.

joeyfuckingwheeler:

rinwolfy:

Surgery in about 14 hours I’m terrified

Get better~ Let me know how it goes (as soon as you are able, I don’t want you to overtax yourself, and since it’s hand surgery, I’m not sure how much typing you’d want to be doing)

Thank <3
I will.
One handed typing is a pain in the ass ;;
I’m leaving soon so I’m freaking out ><

efflourescent:

where can i download a 6’2” and slightly tousled literature enthusiast 

(Source: bessmertny, via sirhiddles)

tseramirrors:

rinwolfy:

Surgery in about 14 hours I’m terrified

Hope everything goes ok and you heal quickly :)

Thank ya <3

Because we were talking about Creationists….and my good friend had to say “Precisely” and I think I have some rare mental disorder where I have to parody the Lion King’s “Be Prepared” contextually to whatever we were talking about when someone says that word

mypocketshurt90:

I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog’s backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It’s clear from your vacant expressions
Biology never captured your flare
But we’re talking natural selection
Primates must be taught and aware

So prepare for genetic drift
Be prepared for speciation
Through genetic fixation
We’ve disproved Creation
[Shenzi:]
But how can the genetic code add more data?
[Scar:]
Jesus Christ have you ever opened a fucking science textbook?

I know it seems morbid
but when you learn a damn thing of Orgo
You’ll consider not all fields consist
Of quibbling over humanities and what’s right and fair
Be aware!!!!

[Banzai:] Yea!  Be aware!
Yeah-heh.We’ll be aware….of what?
[Scar:] Of the downfall of Neanderthal!
[Banzai Why?  Are they sick.
[Scar:] No, fool—we’re going to kill them.  And logic too.
[Shenzi:] Great idea!  Who needs a superior species!
[Shenzi (and then Banzai):]
No higher evolution, No higher evolution, la la la la la la
[Scar:] Idiots!  There will be a higher organism!
[Banzai:] But you said—
[Scar:] I will be top species, stick with me
And you’ll never want logic again!
[Shenzi and Banzai:] Yaay! All right! Long live the king!
[All Hyenas:] Long live the king! Long live the king!
[Full song again]
[Hyenas: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}]

It’s great that the evolutionary tree
Sprouts fruit that denies its own precursor
[Scar:] Of course, quid pro quo, you’re expected
To claim evidence of the Lord
Though the fossil record seems to deride it
And a geologist might cringe to agree
The point so mundanely sermonized is
ALL SCIENCE IS FORFEIT WITHOUT ME

So prepare for the scam of a century
Be prepared for a logical jam
(Oooh… La! La! La!)
Ridiculous scamming

Intelligence prayed to damning
Evolved inhibitions
Is simply why I can’t
Give morons contusions
Their neurology disreputed
To learn at the level I can
Yes, my biology textbooks are bared
It’s no E=mc squared!!!!
Yes, our biology textbooks are bared
EVOLUTION HAPPENED BITCHES DEAL WITH IT/ OH CRAP THIS HAS TO RHYME, SOMETHING ABOUT TEETH BEING BARED!

*nailed it*

Surgery in about 14 hours I’m terrified

geminispy:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

stridersquad:

richwhitelesbian:

we need some new and more powerful swears

(via 221b-tardis-st)